Remember Sam Winchester
by Bananas102
Summary: People's point of view from heaven on Sammy's struggles: Ezekiel, the Cage, the visions, ect. Don't read if you are prone to shedding tears. Rated M for description of the Cage.
1. Adam's POV

Always. He never let them hurt me. He wouldn't have been able to stop them if they really wanted him. It was so dark yet so bright. So frigid, yet so blazing hot. Everyday, all the time, they would torture him. Make him scream. Make him sob.

I hated it. When Sam couldn't scream anymore, couldn't cry or beg at their feet anymore, they would move toward me. I will forever be amazed that Sam would pull himself to his feet and block them, protecting me.

Micheal was cruel, but Lucifer tore Sam through horrors that no one should ever create.

There were even a few times when they offered to stop. Just for a little while. But the price would be that they would hurt me. And somehow, Sam's answer was always no.

At first, instead of standing up for Sam, his survival instincts kicked in and would stay in the corner; away from the screams.

He wanted to hate Sam, to be mad at him. Just a little. But he couldn't. Not when the world was at stake. Not when Sam sacrificed himself too. Not when the piercing screams rang through out the cage.

No matter what, Sam always said no to them. Somehow. Then at some point the angels just pulled me up to heaven. Micheal and Lucifer didn't even care. Sam was responsible for them being there. And they made sure he would suffer for it.

The angels came down and Micheal and Lucifer stopped torturing Sam; just for a moment.

I helped him to his feet. I remember his blood everywhere and I remember him wiping tears from his face. I knew I had to go.

Yet it pained me. I never suffered once and I was the one being rescued. Sam protected me and took everything they put him through, all of which will I will never be able to forget, and I had to let him rot in the hands of the Devil.

I remember him actually smiling at me. He was actually happy for me. There was an unspoken goodbye, but I had one question. Just one.

"Why did you always say no?"

I will always remember his answer. I'm proud to have him for my brother.

"Because you're my brother. Family. And family is worth it."

* * *

In heaven I ended up meeting Sam's girlfriend, Jess, along with his mother Mary.

They're quite nice.

I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Sam up and walking around.

But then everything dawned on me when they found out he didn't have his soul. the Cage really will never stop haunting us, will it?

I frowned with concern as Death put his soul back. Having to hear his screams again.

But all that paled to watching Sam scream and bleed and cry and lose his mind from the scars.

I noticed Jess was crying into Mary's shoulder.

I exhaled, eyebrows knitted with concern. A hand clapped down on my shoulder.

When I glanced up, I saw a teenage kid. About 17. "Hi," he said. The kid offered me a sad smile as he looked down to see what was going on.

"Did you know Sam?" the kid inquired.

I nodded. "Yeah. He's my brother."

The kid cracked a smile.

He sat down next to me. "I knew Sam for a bit. We went to school together. I was so surprised when I found out about the whole back-story thing here."

I nodded again. "Yeah, it's a bit of a shocker."

The kid held out his hand. "Barry Cook."

I took it and shook it.

"Adam..Winchester."

* * *

I looked to the right. "Don't do it!" Jess sobbed. I felt bad for her, I really did. To my surprise, I was gripping the edges of the bench, knuckles white.

_Don't go through with the Trails Sam. Come on, don't do it._

Then Sam gave it up. The power. The trials. The man standing sort of near me, Bob? No, Bobby. He had his arms crossed, eyes never leaving the situation.

Barry came around every other day or so.

Frankly, it was sad. Those two never got a break.

Suddenly, there was a collective gasp and a sob from Jess as Sam cried out, collapsing. We all watched closely as Dean dragged Sam out of the church and into the rain in time to witness the angels fall.

It took a toll in heaven too. There were distance yells and explosions of color and light. "Balls!" Bobby muttered. Mary nodded.

I looked around with wide eyes.

* * *

I leapt to my feet. "What the hell is he doing?"

Newly-found and arrived John Winchester said, "You kidding me?"

Jess looked so torn but she told us, "It'll save his life."

I looked at her. "Jess. I've been possessed by an angel. It won't end well!"

Jess's bottom lip quivered and her eyes widened as she looked down. "He's going to say yes to Death. He'll never be ressurected! He thinks he still hurts everyone! I don't want to watch him die."

John glanced at her. "He'll never agree to it."

Which turned out to be true.

I did a facepalm. What. The. Hell?!

Barry, who had been silent, spoke up.

"He won't forgive Dean, will he?"

"Not likely," Bobby said with a grim expression.

"Dean knows," John said quietly.

At that point, I had already been sat down by the others and made to talk about my joyride of hell.

First the vision, then the telekinesis, then the demon blood, then the crazy demon-controlling/destroying powers, then Satan, then this other angel Ezekeil.

_God. Not one break._


	2. Jessica's POV

I couldn't stop crying. _They went to Hell!_

The man I love would be tortured forever. Just the thought made me cry harder. Mary hugged me tighter. I was shaking. I just kept shaking.

After a little while there was this bright light and I recognized Adam standing there, looking confused.

"W-What?" I squeaked. I felt Mary tense, as though she was going to get up, but she didn't.

Ash got up from his corner spot. "Hey. Adam, right?"

Adam nodded, still looking a tad bewildered. "I'm in heaven," he said simply.

Ash nodded. "Yup. I'm Ash, friend of Dean and Sam's."

Mary looked at Adam. "I'm their mother, Mary."

I took a breath and wiped the tears off my face as his gaze landed on me. "I'm Sam's girlfriend, Jess."

Ash frowned, which is quite unlike him. "Adam, you were in the cage." Adam turned to face him with wide eyes.

"Y-Yeah. The angels took me out."

I rose to my feet. "Where's Sam?"

He stopped.

"Where is he?" My voice was shaking.

Adam looked so guilty. I broke into tears.

"Where is he?!" My knees gave out and Mary caught me and hugged me again while I let out my renewed sobs into her shoulder.

* * *

How? What? How was he out of hell? I sighed in relief. Sam was out. Then I froze. What was wrong with him? There was something wrong with him.

I spent most of my time with Mary. I also embarressingly admit I did tend to cry a lot. For a while Adam thought I was mad at him. I sat down on the bench he tended to sit on. "Hi," he said. I gave him a smile. "Hello. I-I came to say I'm sorry f-for yelling at you. When you came here."

He frowned. "You had the right to." I shook my head. "No, I didn't. I'm happy you got out of there; I mean that. I really do." Adam nodded. I turned to him. "What was it like?" He looked at me. For the longest time. "I-I can't-" I shushed him.

"Hey. We are going to be here forever. And if that's going to happen, you've got to let it out."

Adam's breathing increased. "I-I don't want to remember that."

I looked at him. "Adam, this is heaven. You're going to let it go eventually." Adam pursed his lips.

Mary came up behind us. "Jessica. Adam. John's here." We shot up from the bench. "What?" Adam breathed. A man came over, and I recognized him as John Winchester.

"John Winchester?" I asked. He fixed his eyes on me. "Yeah. Who are you?" I gave him a polite smile. "Jessica." His eyes flickered with recognition. "Oh. Heard of you."

I swallowed hard. Mary hit him on the arm. "John. Manners." Adam was staring at John. "D-Dad?" John looked at Adam. Then he frowned. "Adam?" Adam nodded. "Yeah." John exhaled sharply, a ghost of a smile on his face.

John frowned again. "What's going on? I figured I'm in heaven but what's going on?" I pointed to the wall, floor. It was like a big television screen but you were actually seeing the events happening.

John huffed and looked at it as Dean beat the hell out of Sam. "Wh-What's going on there then?"

Mary came up to his side. "John, Sam died to save the world and he went to hell. But he's back now. John, there's something wrong with him.

* * *

"No! no no no! Wake up!" Sam jerked awake and yanked on the wheel, getting out of the way of the truck. Adam just looked at the scene, and the ghost of memories was clear on his face.

"The scars are killing him," Mary said.

I bit my lip. I was trembling a little again. "H-He's still alive," I said.

"He's still alive."

* * *

Adam completely leapt off the bench and onto his feet. "What the hell is he doing?"

John looked at the situation. "Are you kidding me?"

I knew he had the chance to be at peace, with us. But he shouldn't die!

"It'll save his life," I said to them.

Adam looked at me in a mixture of alarm and pain. "Jess. I've been possessed by an angel. It won't end well!"

"He's going to say yes to Death! He'll never be ressurected! He still believes he hurts everyone! I don't want to watch him die."

John briefly looked at me. "He'll never agree to it."

We watched in horror as Sam was take over.

The boy, one of Sam's friends, Barry, spoke.

"He won't forgive Dean, will he?"

Bobby who was bristling silently, said, "Not likely."

"Dean know," John said in a quiet voice.

I huffed. Oh God. I looked down at him. My Sam.


	3. Mary's POV

I never wanted this for them.

I never wanted them to be raised as hunters, I never wanted them to make that kind of sacrifice.

But it happened. I can at least say I am proud to be their mother.

Always. Ever since Jessica died, she stayed with me. I had no problem with it; she was like the daughter I never had.

She cried so much for Sam. For my little boy.

I cried sometimes too. We both loved him.

I watched my little boys suffer. Through loss. Through pain.

But I never thought it would get so bad. I never thought they would have to fight angels and devils.

Especially Sam. Jessica broke down the day he fell. The day he jumped into hell with the Devil. I could never be more heartbroken. I could never be so sad.

I met Adam. He was a sweet boy and he had the greatest respect for Sam. He had this haunted look for a while after he arrived.

Jessica went to talk to him sometimes. I would never easdrop or anything. That was their conversation.

I did however, approach them when John arrived. I remember him smiling and crying a little when he saw me. He missed me. And I had missed him.

John obviously lost his manners on Earth, for he couldn't even comfortably talk to his own son. Hmmph.

* * *

Adam fideted. Jessica put her hand over his in a comforting way. "It's alright. No rush."

He wrinkled his nose. "But it's going to happen?"

Jess pursed her lips. "Yes."

I chuckled very softly. It reminded me a bit of my boys when they were small.

Adam bit his lip. I could tell John was getting restless and I sent him a don't-you-dare-ruin-the-moment look. It was my job after all.

"I-It was bad." His voice cracked. He cleared his throat. Jessica had sat him down and told him he wasn't leaving until he got the memories of hell of his chest. So here we were.

"I remember falling into black. _So _black." His eyes glazed over slightly.

"_I hit the bottom and it hurt so I closed my eyes for a moment. I was scared. Then, I suddenly realized I wasn't possessed anymore so I opened my eyes and sat up. I saw Sam and he was laying on the ground. I looked at him for a moment before looking at where I was. I was dark yet light. It felt like it was burning you yet it felt like you were freezing._

_The walls were red and bloody, like they were made of muscle and rusty daggers,and there echoes of screams. I-I remember looking all around and seeing chains on the walls and ceiling and metahooks with flesh and blood crusted and oozing off of them. I was so terrified. I saw Micheal and Lucifer on the side, gathering their wits._

_Sam was awake, but he didn't move. He just laid there. Staring at everything and he looked small for a minute. Then there was a bang and Sam sat up really fast. Lucifer was in flames and his eyes had blood pooling around them and he stared at Sam with hatred no one else could ever reciprocate. _

_Sam tried getting away but chains covered in barbed wire covered his neck and legs, and they dragged him to Lucifers feet."_

Adam stared at us. "I-I ran. I couldn't help it. I-I ran." He was shaking, tears in his eyes and deathly pale. His voice rose with panic and cracked at the end. Jessica looked at him for a second, then wrapped her arms around him as he trembled.

"It's alright," she whispered. "It's okay."

* * *

When the others argued over what course of action should be taken, I tune out. I don't listen to it. Why should I? It's not like whatever conclusion we arrive at will happen. It's their desicion.

Sam was being possessed by an angel and there was nothing we could do about it.

Nothing. It's their desicion and that's the way the world works.

I had to disapprove of Dean lying, but I understood the reason. I again won't be taking sides.

I will see events unfold, and I will welcome my sons when they arrive here with open arms.


	4. Sam's POV

I tried running, but chains and barbed wired dug themselves into my flesh and I whimpered and they tugged, pulling me back to Lucifer's feet. Lucifer was fuming.

He picked me up by my throat and slammed me against the spikes on the cage walls. I cried out, my heart pounding and my body on fire. My weight tugged at the spikes, causing them to tear more into my flesh. Hot blood ran down my chest and my head ached.

"_You..have no idea how angry you've made me_," Lucifer hissed. I trembled. Lucifer ripped me down from the spikes and hurled me across the room where I slammed into more spikes. I cried out as two impaled my face. But I didn't die.

"You won't be dying Sam. Ever."

Lucifer grabbed a knife and plunged it into my chest, twisting it and creating a hole in me that caused his blood to drain all over the place.

I screamed. I gasped and whimpered in pain.

I was hyperventilating, whimpering and crying with each exhale. Lucifer's hand kept twitching and he was far from done.

* * *

Lucifer plunged a hand up the hold he'd carved, Sam's insides hot and sticky. Sam screamed, tears now started to fall from his eyes. He Lucifer tore at anything in the way until he wrapped his hand around Sam's heart.

Sam cried. "Feel that? My hand inside your _gut_? This is just the beginning, Sam. I'm trapped in here and you've made me so _very, very _angry."

Lucifer tightened his grip and Sam let out the kind of bloodcurdling scream no one could ever reciprocate as his heart was squeezed through Lucifer's fingers as much.

* * *

I screamed as he slowly forced my veins to boil and twist in my body.

I screamed as he cut off my eyelids. He didn't like it when I closed my eyes.

I screamed. Always. I

* * *

I was crying. I'd never felt this kind of pain. There was no thinking, no nothing. Just the pain and the heat of it, the blindingness of it.

When my voice gave out, Lucifer cut into me and pulled out my vocal chords. I could never pass out. I could never die. He wouldn't let me.

For the first 100 years, Lucifer tortured me rashly, cutting and tearing, wanting nothing more than to hear me scream. Watch me cry and bleed.

For the next 80, he tortured me will what he calls skill. Mind games, slow tortures, leaving me more broken than I ever thought possible.

I'll never forget it.

* * *

My memories still haunt me. Even after Cas took away the scars. Even after he got better, and everyone moved on.

I realized at one point, that I never got the chance to actually talk about my hell.

It's been mentioned, but I never talked about it.

Not with anyone.

I keep it to myself.

In my nightmares I get tortured and I see Lucifer.

It hurts. Always.

I usually wake up crying. Or terrified.

On occasion I wake up screaming, but I never mention it to Dean.

There's something going on with him. He's got his own things to deal with and I don't want to bother him again.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I black out a lot, I get knocked out more than I would like, and for some reason, I can't get my strength up.

I don't know what to do.

I sometimes feel like my time is up. Or I'm walking on with borrowed time.

I feel like my time should have ended, but for some reason, I'm still going.

I don't want to bother Dean about it, and besides, he wouldn't like that I'm thinking this way.

I'm just tired.

I'm just so _tired_.


	5. Intermission?

***sits down***

**I regretfully inform you that I have come to a roadblock. **

**I don't know if I should add anymore chapters and who's POV to do for them.**

**I would like to give you that option.**

**You can review who's POV to do, and if you, well...want me to do it :)**

**Thank you for your time.**


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